To have a good relationship, one must be able to understand each other — without necessarily agreeing.
To be able to understand each other, one must be able to communicate properly together. Not just exchanging words and opinions, but having a dialogue in an agreed-upon, safe environment so that no one is hurt by feeling rejected, hurt, or anger.
The understanding must make sense — for both of you. It is not enough that it only makes sense for one of you.
Many couples in København experience challenges in being able to understand each other.
If it had been easy and simple to solve the problems yourself, you would probably have done it a long time ago. But, you also have to make your marriage good and good for your children, so you must talk together and communicate together.
Your marriage can only be good if it gives you the best opportunities to communicate.
The way your marriage can be good for your children is if you make sure that you keep open the channels of communication, for even if you have a disagreement you still can talk together and clearly. There are several ways you can do that.
· You can sit down together and talk about anything which may be bothering you. It does not have to be about how much you love each other. You can talk about anything. Even if it is just about how much you like and dislike particular TV shows.
· You can even talk to your spouse about your feelings, even if you are not sure whether your feelings are mutual. You can do it without asking permission. This is called an ‘I don’t know’ interaction.
· If you feel too embarrassed to talk to your spouse, you can talk to a friend or a relative. You can also have the best chance to hear your spouse’s thoughts if you talk to a third party. You can even borrow the ears of someone who cares about you and share what you are feeling.
· If you just can’t share your feelings you can look through a ‘share the feeling’ book, a blog, or an e-book. There are numerous of options.
· There are other ways to tell your spouse that you care about him or her even though you do not know whether you like or dislike the feeling.
When we express our feelings to someone who cares about us, we tend to feel much better. We don’t expect anything in return for expressing our feelings, but we can expect a smile, a nod, or a word of encouragement. It is not selfish to express your feelings, but it is respectful.
You don’t need to give your feelings to anyone. Share them with your spouse if you want to know that your spouse thinks. Share them with a friend if you want to express your feeling to someone who cares about you. Share them with yourself if you like the way that you feel. You can ask a friend to help you think through your feelings. You can take a time out from your current problem to think through your feelings. The more your spouse and yourself are involved in a problem, the less you will need to talk to a stranger.
When your spouse cannot give you help, it is also possible to seek help. When you and your spouse have a conflict, you might seek professional help like marriage counselling or couple therapy, in Danish parterapi København. If you and your spouse have the conflict, it would be a good idea to do something else that you have not done so far. You have to find out what that could be.
Marriage counsellors are trained in the area of emotions and personal relationships, allowing them to better assist their clients. There are many marriage counselors in København and Frederiksberg. There are many marriage counselors, but you should consider the quality and experience of the marriage counselor, before choosing one. In Danish: Parterapeut Frederiksberg. You can search online for marriage counselors or you can phone them.
You will need to know what issue is causing you the most stress in your marriage. This issue can be triggered by many things. This may help you to be objective about the issue and give you a clue as to what it might be.
· Marriage counseling will help you to be objective about the issue, instead of being driven by emotions. You will not be driven by your feelings, by your own insecurities. Your marriage will be safe to be objective because you will be detached from the issue, allowing you to be objective about the situation.
· A marriage counselor will be able to check your assumptions, allowing you to be objective about the situation. Instead of acting on your feelings, you will act on the facts, allowing you to be objective about the situation.
Marriage counseling can save your marriage. It is a two way street with. It will not fix your marriage by itself. It is a way to build a better marriage, by communication, understanding and meaningfulness.
